


Bonds Both Tested and Forged

by bri_notthecheese



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bonding, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Multi, a bit of unrequited love sprinkled in at the end, it's Hawke and Varric's first fight, they never did get over that hump re: Anders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 18:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19011466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_notthecheese/pseuds/bri_notthecheese
Summary: Varric and Hawke have been best friends for--what? Ten? Eleven years at this point? It's only fair that they have their first fight now.It's not surprising that it's about Blondie.What is surprising is that Varric finds comfort and reason from the last person he'd expect--Cassandra.





	Bonds Both Tested and Forged

There’s always some sort of commotion going on at Skyhold.

This time it happens to be some soldiers calling for the healers as they get back from wherever. Varric only got a quick glance, but the nasty wound on their comrade seemed to be bubbling over with some sort of magical puss. He sighs in resignation as he wanders back over to his table in the main hall where Hawke is currently sitting.

“Trouble?”

“Same old stuff.” Varric takes the seat opposite of him. “Looks like a nasty mage wound on one of the guys coming back. Surprised he made it here at all.”

Hawke takes a swig of his drink. “Probably just surface level then. I’m sure the mages here can fix him up.”

“Yeah.” Varric shakes his head as he stares into his own drink. He grumbles to himself, lamenting the shortsightedness of the civil war going on.

“Beg pardon?”

Varric clears his throat, speaking a bit louder for Hawke. “I said we have weirder and bigger shit to deal with, but the people out there still wanna fight their war too.”

“The templars are the ones hunting down the mages. Maybe they thought the soldiers were more templars.”

There’s an edge to Hawke’s voice that Varric’s heard before, but it’s never been directed at him. It’s an edge that Varric desperately wants to tiptoe around. It feels wrong to fight—it’s not them, it’s never been them. So he opts to stop talking before things get worse.

Hawke doesn’t get that memo. “It’s not his fault, you know. All of this. It isn’t his fault.”

Varric wants to bite his tongue, he truly does. But this has been coming for a while so he can’t help but say, “Really? This whole rebellion didn’t start with him?”

“No. It started long before and you know that. You just don’t wanna see it.”

“You know what I don’t want to see? Bodies of innocent people being stacked up because they got caught up in a war that has nothing to do with them.”

“You mean like the bodies of innocent mages that have been piling up for years?”

Varric snorts. “You sound exactly like he did.”

“Do I?” Hawke smacks his drink down and it’s surprising none of it spilled over. “Good. Because he wasn’t wrong. It would’ve kept on happening and it would’ve only gotten worse. You were _there_ when Meredith invoked the Rite of Annulment.”

“Because he blew up a building!”

“She was going to do it anyway—she just needed an excuse. She would’ve come for all of them eventually, even me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Of course I do! She threatened me on multiple occasions. Anders too. I don't know how long it would've taken. But Anders was faster, and brave enough to do something about it before that happened. We’ve all killed people, Varric. You don’t get to hate him for ruining whatever fiction you had going on in your head when he was trying to do something good.”

Varric’s too angry to even think of a retort before Hawke is up and storming out of the hall. A quick glance around shows that people certainly heard the argument; whether or not they heard the topic is up for debate, but Varric doesn’t particularly care at this point. Hawke’s got his rose-colored lenses on and if Varric knows one thing, it’s that you can’t really argue with Hawke when it comes to Anders. He’s been smitten since day one and while he certainly does have a mind of his own, he won’t suffer anyone criticizing his partner.

Varric scowls. He hates this. How could Hawke think that? Of course he doesn’t condone mages being killed—half of his friends are mages. But he also doesn’t condone destroying Chantries to prove a point.

Shit.

Things had been…interesting between them ever since he received that first letter from Hawke after he got back together with Anders. Hawke knew Varric’s feelings on Anders and his actions—he had made them perfectly clear in the aftermath. And while he had been there for Hawke and his broken heart, he vocalized quite often that he believed Hawke had done the right thing by breaking up with the guy.

Varric also might have directly blamed Anders for the civil war in one of his letters to Hawke about the Inquisition. Hawke hadn’t mentioned it directly, but Varric heard his tone while he chatted away with the Inquisitor. He probably should’ve left well enough alone so they could continue as they had. At least they could pretend.

He didn’t want to be angry with Hawke, but Hawke was making it really hard not to be. He didn’t want to lose another friend over this damn rebellion.

 

 

Varric eventually finds himself tucked away in a corner on the second floor of the Herald’s Rest. He’s nursing his drink—he’s never been one for drinking out of sorrow, but he wasn’t sure how to handle this.

Hawke’s his best friend. So was Anders, at one point. Blondie ruined that himself but Hawke…the only thing Hawke is guilty of is loving someone that Varric didn’t care to see again.

He’s so busy mulling over everything that he almost doesn’t notice the Seeker approaching his table.

“Varric?”

“What is it now, Seeker?”

It’s harsh and out of the corner of his eye he sees Cassandra visibly flinch. He turns to face her fully and it’s clear she’s struggling with how she wants to respond. Her eyes flit about—something unusual on the normally confident and intimidating woman, but as he’s gotten to know her a bit better throughout this thing, he’s realized she isn’t as great at speaking as everyone may believe.

“I—well, I merely wished to thank you for the book and I was…but I can see that you are busy.”

“Not going to force me to talk anyway?”

Cassandra pauses in her motion to turn away and Varric clearly sees something of regret pass along her features.

“No. I am not going to force you to talk, Varric. We can speak another time.”

This shitty day just keeps getting better and better. “Wait, Seeker.”  Andraste’s ass, it’s not her fault he’s pissed right now, and despite the bad blood in their past, they’d been getting along. Tentatively. Hawke showing up was a bit of a setback but with the Inquisitor’s snitching about the book, they’ve been doing okay. Cassandra looks uncertain but Varric gestures to the bench on the other side of the table. “Take a seat.”

She hesitates for two seconds more before easing down across from him. It’s awkward—they don’t spend much time together outside of trips with the Inquisitor. Somehow it’s easier on the road, especially since he and the Seeker are frequently left to their own devices as the Inquisitor and Solas pair up more often than not in gathering easy supplies.

“I wanted…to thank you. I know you did not have to finish working on that chapter of _Swords & Shields_, and I know the Inquisitor was the one that asked you, but…”

“No commentary on the contents of said chapter?” Varric can’t help but tease her. He might have purposefully left another cliffhanger at the end of this one. Just to mess with her. Unfortunately, that means he’s committed himself to writing at least one more since he knows Cassandra will come after him if he leaves it how he did.

She meets his eyes and purses her lips. She’s knows she’s being baited…and still completely falls for it. “How could you let the guard captain go through that trial?! They _know_ she’s innocent—they can’t get away with lying like that!”

And she continues talking about it for the next half hour or so—Varric doesn’t bother to keep track. The book’s terrible and he stands by that, but watching Cassandra talk so animatedly about it worms a soft spot for the thing into his heart. He answers questions when she pauses long enough to give him time to, but he mostly listens to her thoughts on everything. A great number of people have read his books and are big fans, but Varric hasn’t met any quite like the Seeker.

Weird how that worked out.

“Varric, you can’t _possibly_ let it end there. You must be working on something else! That _can’t_ be how it ends!”

“Don’t worry, Seeker, it’s not. You’re just gonna have to wait.”

“Ugh.”

He chuckles and they fall into a comfortable silence. Warm chatter from people both on this floor and the one below mixes with Maryden’s playing to give off the perfect evening atmosphere. He’s feeling a lot better than he was earlier.

“There was one other thing,” Cassandra begins, and Varric nods to give her the go-ahead to continue, “I mentioned it while we were out with the Inquisitor, but I am sorry, Varric—about before. I have thought about it and I suppose, if put in that position, I would want to protect a friend as well.”

It’d be so easy to mock her again, but he finds he doesn’t want to. It’s bad enough he’s got this whole thing with Hawke; it’d be nice to be on better terms with the Seeker. Nodding, he says, “I really don’t know what to say.”

“Surprising. Though I suppose that is better than assuming I had no feelings to speak of,” and by the Maker, she’s joking with him. She’s doing her best to hide her smile but he can see it. “I do not like being lied to, but I cannot say I do not admire your loyalty.”

“Why, Seeker, an apology _and_ a compliment?”

“Do not let it go to your head.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Varric says.

Cassandra laughs, and it’s one of the half dozen times he’s seen her do it. It’s not a bad sight, Varric has to admit. He smiles back. He could get used to being friendlier with her.

Cassandra leans forward. “So how has Hawke been settling in?”

Well, there goes ignoring his problems. Cassandra notes his clear discomfort and looks as if she’s about to add something, but he cuts her off. “Fine. He’s fine.”

“I’m not trying to—”

“I know, Seeker. For once, I know. Just a sore topic right now.”

It’s back to silence between them and Varric wishes that one day things wouldn’t be so damn difficult. Guilt gnaws at his stomach. If his argument with Hawke hadn’t happened, him and the Seeker could have actually had a nice evening.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The question is unexpected, and asked with such hesitation that Varric nearly raises his eyebrows in surprise. Her concern is palpable and genuine—something that Varric couldn’t have predicted, but he supposes he doesn't know the Seeker as well as he’d like to think. Sure, she’s rough on the edges, but he’s seen her compassion. Most of the time it’s been for someone other than him, but it’s there. And now she’s sitting here, offering to be a listening ear in a way that has much more resemblance to a friend than it does an interrogator.

And maybe it’s because he’s already used to talking with her or maybe it’s because he really needs to get this off his chest—something he _never_ does—or maybe it’s simply because of the drink, but he finds himself telling the Seeker everything.

He tells her about his spat with Hawke and that it was because of Anders…and that it’s probably the only thing they’ll ever fight about. He tells her how their relationship has been strained ever since Hawke got back with him, even if it was four years ago. They never actually talked about it because that’s not what they do.

He then launches into a longer rant about Kirkwall and how he hates what happened to the city. She’s only seen parts of it—Hightown has everything compared to the lower districts, even though it will always be the one bearing the scar of the explosion. It’s where he was born, where he grew up. It was his city and when Hawke arrived, it became theirs.

He hates that Hawke got over everything so easily.

The Seeker listens to every word and Varric doesn’t think he could express his gratitude.

“Thing is, Blondie and I used to be close too. Now? I don’t even know if I could look him in the eyes. I should’ve done something more once he offered me his pillow. Probably before that.”

“His pillow?”

Varric starts, momentarily shocked to hear Cassandra ask a question. “Yeah, his pillow. It was the only thing they let him keep when he went to the Circle. His mother made it.”

“Ah.”

“We used to have this game—we’d talk about these creative ways that we were gonna use to kill the templars. Harmless fun to pass the time. But he stopped wanting to play and I knew something was wrong, I just…I don’t know what I should’ve done. But maybe it doesn’t matter. He didn’t care enough about what happened to the rest of us—damn our lives as long as the mages get what they want, right?”

Varric takes a long sip of his drink and Cassandra leans forward. Her voice is soft and…gentle. “Once, I think I would have agreed with you whole-heartedly on this issue.”

He laughs. It’s bitter. “But you think I’m wrong?”

“No. Not at all. Like I said, I used to agree whole-heartedly.”

“But…?”

“But, as of late, I think the Inquisitor has caused me to rethink some things. I admire her greatly, and as I’ve watched her lead us, I notice that while she is firm in her decisions, she does not hesitate to listen to the opinions of others. Even people who have tried to harm her—she listens to what they have to say and often gives them second chances. I suppose you could say I’m somewhat inspired.”

“Some would call that naiveté.”

“Some would. I often have. But her and I spoke about Kirkwall back at Haven and she was very adamant that what happened was a result of inaction. I attempted to explain the situation, but she stood firmly on that issue. I disapproved at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought about everything. History may call me a madwoman if we fail. Many did when we first started the Inquisition. So perhaps I wonder if I should be so quick to judge Anders for what he did when he was also deciding to make a stand.”

Varric scoffs. “The situations are completely different, Seeker.”

Cassandra nods. “They are, and I do still agree that he should not have done what he did. I simply meant to say that perhaps if someone with greater power had stepped in sooner, things may have been different.”

“I don’t know if that's a comfort or not.” Varric says.

“I am sorry. I know I’m not always the best with words.”

“Nah, Seeker, you tried to help and that…well, it helps. I still don’t know what to make out of all this, but who knows? Maybe this whole rethinking thing will help with Hawke at least.”

“I truly hope it does.”

Her sincerity really throws him for a loop. After tonight, he’s going to have to go back to teasing her for a while to shake this from his system. But then again, from the look on her face, she might already have something up her sleeve. Her eyes are narrowed and she’s clearly piecing something together.

“So you’ve known where Anders was this whole time too?”

He sighs. He hates to admit it, but even if he’ll forever be pissed at Blondie, he doesn’t want him hurt. Maker knows what that’d do to Hawke, too. “Yeah.”

She hums but doesn’t comment further on it. He’s grateful for that. The less he thinks on it, the better.

“Are you going to speak to Hawke about this?”

“Probably. I can’t really afford not to.”

“I think he will understand. He has a good heart.”

“And you know him personally, Seeker?” Varric says, amused. “I think your views of him are a bit romanticized.”

“Well. Perhaps the book should not have presented him as such. It is written very much like a love letter to—”

She stops. Her eyes flit to his and he’s rooted to the spot regardless of what she _thinks_ she’s figured out. Her eyebrows knit in concern and her mouth is stuck in the shape of an ‘o.’

“Varric, you—?”

“Seeker. No.”

“But—Varric!”

Varric’s already up and out of his seat. He’s not discussing this—not now, and certainly not with her.

 

 

He does get around to talking with Hawke. Skyhold may be large, but it’s not big enough to avoid someone for long. Plus, it’s obvious they both wanted to clear this all up.

And they listen.

And talk, of course, and apologies are had. And they’re better. Varric gets where Hawke’s coming from and vice versa. Varric can’t promise forgiveness, but he does promise to stop blaming Anders directly for all of it (especially to Hawke’s face).

They’re gonna be okay.

They just have to survive this shit first.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I needed this fight to happen because it seems unlikely that it wouldn't. You can't just leave that elephant in the room with your best friend. Also I think it'd be healthy for Varric and Hawke to get through that kind of situation since they're both very good at avoiding that stuff.  
> I ship the hell out of Cassandra and Varric, but I'm also realistic and in love with some good healthy friendship building before they can actually get it on when he's over Bianca (and Hawke--I love the idea that he realized he had feelings but already knew Hawke was too far gone on Anders or any other LI so he never said anything cuz he's used to unfulfilling loves)


End file.
